Why You Should Change Your Perspective on Recovery
When you think about what you need to do to recover from pornography or sexual addiction, what pops into your head? Does doing what is required in recovery feel like a chore, or more like a chance to create the life you actually want? Are you doing it because you “have to,” or because you want it for yourself?
How you answer that can totally change your experience. Your mindset shapes how recovery feels—and what you get out of it.
Boundaries in Recovery: Annoying or Helpful?
In recovery, setting up boundaries for yourself, or respecting requests and desired boundaries from your partner are often necessary for success, but a lot of people see boundaries as rules meant to frustrate them. “I hate having limits on my phone!” or “Checking in with my partner all the time is so annoying—they don’t trust me.” Sound familiar?
I get it. Boundaries can feel like a hassle. But thinking of them as punishment can actually make recovery harder.
Try saying it differently:
“These phone limits can be annoying, but they keep me on track—and I’m glad I have that option.”
“My partner doesn’t fully trust me yet, but I get the chance to show up and build that trust every day.”
Even a small shift in how you talk to yourself can make recovery feel more satisfying.
Recovery is About Moving Toward Something Good
Recovery isn’t mainly about avoiding “bad” things, but rather doing the things that bring true meaning and value to your life. Sure, some people, places, or situations aren’t safe and are good to avoid—but it’s also about what you get to do.
So, instead of thinking I can’t do that, try noticing what you get to do:
“I get to go to the gym and take care of myself instead of going somewhere I’d slip up.”
“I get to spend time with friends that build me up instead of being in situations that in the end make me feel worse about myself.”
This shift—moving toward good instead of just avoiding bad—can make recovery feel empowering.
Recovery from pornography or other unwanted sexual behaviors doesn’t have to be a drag; rather, it can be something that brings richness to your life. Sometimes, all that is needed is a perspective change.
If you need further support, reach out today for a free consultation and we can talk about how to get you on the right path in your recovery.
Alex Primo
Marriage and Family Therapist, CSAT
I specialize in helping Christian men find freedom from pornography and unwanted sexual behaviors. I also work with couples who are navigating the pain of betrayal and infidelity.
If this connects with what you are looking for in a therapist, give me a call or reach out to me through my contact form HERE, and ask me the questions mentioned in this blog. The therapeutic relationship goes both ways, and I want to provide a place you feel safe to share, free from any judgement or shame. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Healing is possible, and the first session is where it can begin.